I started talking about hydrocephalus when diagnosed with incurable breast cancer. Suddenly, crutches weren’t the problem!
I grew up in the 80s; diversity wasn’t celebrated and ableist insults were part of everyday speech. I wouldn’t look at my reflection, full of self-loathing.
My parents tried to make me feel normal. But I wet myself, fell over, dropped things, got lost, ‘shook my head’. The doctors said this was an involuntary movement but it was so embarrassing! I avoided the camera and kept my head down.
Anyone nice at school was encouraged not to be. I escaped to a fantasy world of books and imaginary friends, baking with my mum, playing music with my dad and encouraged by my siblings. I hated disabled groups, or those when we were supposed to feel grateful for “normal” children giving us their time.
I stopped using the wheelchair, started wearing high-heeled boots and later began to meet people who actually liked me!
Fast forward a few years. I had two babies. I could fill a book with the stupid things people said. But I should have pinched myself to appreciate my reality. A house, a husband, a horse, two daughters.
Crutches weren’t the problem, cancer was!
These Boobs Were Made For Talking 